Belle to Businesswoman: 2015

Our little Maddie Rose made her "grand entrance" on September 27th. I say "grand" because my sweet little girl was breech and came out butt first!

Newborn photos by Ciji Ann Photography

I had been planning a natural water birth from the beginning. Because of my low milk supply issue when I had Graham, I didn't want any drugs in my system to make sure that breastfeeding would get off to a better start this time around.

Labor started on a Friday afternoon. All week I had been walking up and down our street, trying to get labor going. Friday morning while Graham was at school I walked up and down 3 times in a row. We live on a huge hill, so this was no easy feat at 40 weeks pregnant. I also chugged 3 cups of red raspberry leaf tea that afternoon - hoping that might kick things into gear. Around 5pm I started having mild cramps. My mother-in-law texted to ask how I was feeling and to see if we wanted her to come to our house that weekend to help out with Graham. I told her I was having cramps, but to not get too excited. I asked her if she'd go ahead and drive over that evening - just in case. I'm so grateful she came even though we didn't end up going to the hospital until Saturday. Just having her there made me feel better - I knew there would be someone to watch Graham if we had to pick up and leave quickly.

All evening the cramps continued. I think I started timing them around 9pm. They were 10 minutes apart. I still wasn't sure I was in labor and wondered if I would go to sleep and the cramps would go away. I was able to fall asleep just fine, but woke up around 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was still having the cramps and they were still about 10 minutes apart. I let Josh and my mother-in-law sleep since I really wasn't in pain and the cramps/contractions were still so far apart.

Josh, Graham and my mother-in-law all woke up around 7. They were so excited that I was still having the contractions. This was it! We called my parents and my father-in-law to tell them I was in labor. They all rushed over to our house even though I told them it would probably still be a while.

We ate breakfast and watched some tv while I easily breathed through the contractions. Graham played and was being sweet. My parents and father-in-law arrived. It was a really nice morning.

I decided to bounce on my exercise ball to see if I could make things hurry along. Around 10am my contractions started getting a little worse. I timed them again and they were 5 minutes apart. Graham was getting restless and the living room was feeling a little crowded with my parents and Josh's parents. I felt like I couldn't concentrate well on breathing through the contractions so I told Josh I kind of wanted to leave for the hospital. I knew it was still probably too early, but the idea of being in a calm hospital room without any distractions sounded nice. We grabbed our bags and got ready to leave. I got emotional when I kissed Graham goodbye - the last time I'd see him when he'd be my only baby.

We headed over to the hospital and I called my midwife and my doula. Got all checked in and my doula arrived. My midwife popped in to say hi. Everything was going smoothly and I was still able to breath through the contractions easily. The nurse went to check me (I was at a 5) and was quiet. She asked me if I was having a breech baby. I said no and started to get a little worried. She said she couldn't feel the baby's head but she would order a sonogram to make sure. The moment she left the room I started crying. We had no idea Maddie was breech. She must have flipped at some point - I hadn't had an ultrasound since 20 weeks. In my mind I was sure I was headed for a C-section - so much for my natural birth. So much for my water birth. I hadn't even thought about having a C-section since I'd had Graham vaginally and this was my second baby.

The sonogram confirmed she was breech but also confirmed that she was in a good position and a good size to try a vaginal birth. My wonderful midwife and doula explained the risks of trying a vaginal breech birth, but they were both positive about trying it. My doula looked up a video of a vaginal breech birth for us to watch. Josh and I prayed about it and in the end decided to give it a try. My midwife told me that a few extra people may be in the room when the baby arrives - just in case. They also told me that I wouldn't be able to have a water birth and that I would have to be on my back for the delivery - all protocol I guess at the hospital for vaginal breech births.

I'm not going to lie - I was scared. Especially when they started prepping me for an emergency C-section, in case that was the outcome. They had to put an IV in and give me fluids to make sure that if something went wrong, they could quickly get the baby out.

I'm lucky that we got to the hospital when we did. I was in labor, but it wasn't too painful yet. I was able to easily breath through the contractions. If we had waited until later to get to the hospital, there might not have been time to make an informed, calm decision about the birth.

Other than that little hiccup - everything was going smoothly. I was able to breath through the contractions all afternoon. We watched part of the UGA/Tennessee game. (Go dawgs!)

I'm not sure of the timing here - but I think around 3pm or 4pm things started to get a little more intense. My contractions started to get really painful. I started feeling nauseous and threw up. My doula put a little bit of peppermint essential oil around the room to help with my nausea. I remember laying there in the bed on my right side for what felt like an eternity, but it was probably only about two hours. I was so miserable and trying to still breath through the contractions. My doula suggested I moan using a deep voice. I probably sounded ridiculous, but for some reason it helped. Squeezing Josh's hand and looking into his eyes also helped keep me focused and calm.

Right near the end, I started doubting I could do it - I kept saying "I can't do this. I can't do this." That's when my doula suggested I sit up for a while. I sat on the edge of the bed and Josh was sitting in a chair in front of me. I held onto his thighs and looked into his eyes. I kept saying, "I can't do this." And he kept saying, "Yes you can. You can do this." Finally I started to calm down and believe him. I said one time with determination, "I CAN do this." And that's when my water broke!

Right after my water broke, my body just started to bear down - it was so scary. It felt like I was convulsing - my body was pushing - I had no control over it. With each convulsion, I lifted up a little so I was squatting, still holding onto Josh's thighs. I felt Maddie moving down. I guess my doula or the nurse went and got my midwife and the doctor that was required to be in the room since it was a breech birth. All I knew is that someone made me lay back - and everyone was telling me not to push. I was so out of it - I felt wild, primal. I was moaning and screaming and I may have dropped the f-bomb twice. Oops. :) I was definitely not one of those calm women you see - there was no gentle breathing as I pushed. This was frantic - freaking out - scared. I had no idea it would feel like it did. It didn't really hurt at that point - it was just scary because my body was pushing the baby out - I had no control over it. I kept telling everyone I had to push and they kept telling me not to. I couldn't understand why they didn't want me to push. My head kept turning back and forth - looking at the nurse, the doctor, my doula, Josh. Josh kept trying to get me to only look at him. The only time I was calm at all was when I was looking into his eyes.

At one point when I was frantically looking around, trying to get everyone to understand that I needed to push, I saw some random nurses standing in the corner of the room. (They were there in case something went wrong - extra hands to help with the baby or me.) One of the nurses was a guy and he had the creepiest look on his face. At that moment I did NOT want him looking at me. But I couldn't think of words to tell him to look away so I just shook my head at him and glared.

I also made everyone in the room laugh at one point during this frenzy. I said in my stupor, "Y'all, this does NOT feel good."

I know now that the reason they kept telling me not to push is because Maddie was coming so fast and they were trying to break down the bed and get ready for the birth. Luckily they got everything ready just in time.

My body convulsed and I felt part of her come out (her butt). By this point I was so over everything that I did start actually pushing - to hell with everyone telling me not to push! I pushed once and her body came out. And then I pushed one more time and her head came out. And man - it felt amazing once it was over. I felt my placenta come out too - but it basically just slide out. (Gross!)

At 5:48pm, they laid Madeline right on my chest like I had always dreamed. (Didn't get to experience that with Graham's birth.) She ripped out my IV, but I didn't feel it at all. She was facing away from me and I kept asking if I could turn her around. Her cord was short so they weren't able to turn her until it was cut. But once Josh cut it, someone turned her and I saw her beautiful face. I touched her and said hi. She was laying on her stomach, bobbing around, already ready to nurse. I scooted her over a little so I could latch her on - but she latched all on her own! She knew what to do. She stared right at me while she nursed - her pretty dark blue eyes looking deep into mine.