Well, just like I was afraid to tell anyone that we GOT Italy...now I'm scared to tell everyone that we might not go.
Lame-O.
We waited to tell for sooooo long to make sure that everything was going to work out...and now it's looking like it might not work out afterall. :(
I should've kept my mouth shut.
I told my boss and asked for a leave of absence - he was so kind and so supportive.
Then, not even a week later,
tragedy.
Basically, the managers in Italy changed their minds about the date they want Josh to come over.
And we're not 100% sure we want to wait that long...because another opportunity for Josh came up...which is another story for another time...
I'm devastated. Everything was working out so well...so perfectly.
I'm trying to be positive...I'm trying to remember that HE makes all things work together for my good. HE has a plan.
But man, it really sucks.
So lame. So sad. So devastating.
However, I have learned a few things from this...
1. My boss and the people in my department are really great. My boss was SO supportive when we thought we were going. And when we realized we might not go - he was really nice about that as well. The other people I work with - I could tell the genuinely cared and were happy for me...and then disappointed for me when we got the bad news. And when I kept getting worse and worse information from Josh about the whole situation, talking to my coworkers about everything really helped. And I've been busy at work - which has been a welcomed distraction during all of this. I've actually been enjoying my job.
2. My husband is amazing. And even though we're going through a crappy time and I hate seeing him upset, at least we're upset
together. I love him so much. Screw Italy! As long as I'm with Josh, that's all that matters.
We've been praying and thinking and talking about our options. I feel like whatever decision we make, we're going to regret something - either way. But it looks like we're leaning towards not going. It's one of the most disappointing things that's ever happened in my life.
And I know there's a million other more important things happening in the world that are 100 times worse than this decision Josh and I have to make. But to us - this IS important. This was an amazing opportunity. We thought for once, our lives would be different. This time around, something special was happening to US.
But it must not be in God's plan. We have to trust him. We have to make the decision and move on. Try not to regret...try to be positive...
-Holly
God,
I'm really disappointed. But I trust you. Please let us make the right decision - the decision you want us to make. I know your plan for me is best. It's hard to be hopeful and faithful right now...but I'm trying.
Amen.
P.S. While all of this was happening, I stumbled on an
amazing blog post.
Check it out here. It's all about hope and faith...and I really needed to hear it...
